Dirty Rats in Paradise

Posted on October 12, 2010


Every year around this time I get sick. And I just lay here. In bed. And lament my existence.  Mel Brooks used to say, “Tragedy is when I stub my toe; Comedy is when you fall down an open manhole cover and die.”

Every year.

I don’t know exactly why, but no matter where I am – during the first few weeks of October – I am going to get sick.  School, another country, it just happens. Like clockwork.

So now I am just relaxing and reading people’s blogs. Watching television. I am getting better, but the worst part is mornings.

Oh, and now things are starting to make sense again too. That’s the worst part, when you first get sick everything just kind of wishes over you. It almost doesn’t register.

Wow, I sure do have a flair for the dramatic.  It’s a small cold and I am carrying on like it’s the end of the world.  I told my doctor that disease is a dress rehearsal for death.  He just looked at me.  Alright, so I am laying it on really thick.

Let’s talk Hawaii.

Rats.  They are everywhere.  Supposedly the rats outnumber the human population in my hometown.  Of that I am not sure, but it’s not hard to imagine.  Occasionally you see one every now and then down in the subways.  Fortunately I have never seen one in the house.

Anyway, there is a drastic difference in the way people handle things here vs. Hawaii.  I know, this isn’t groundbreaking—most people can kind of figure that.

What astounds me is the level of corruption in Hawaii. I stand in awe – in AWE- of how Honolulu handles things!  I mean here at least they at least try to make it seem like the system works.

Take rats.  Something simple.  We’re all familiar with them.  Let me pose this problem:

Rats infest a place that sells food. The logical conclusion is to close the establishment, correct?

Here is a rat infestation on Manhattan:

And here is a rat infestation in Hawaii:

The difference.  In Hawaii nothing is done about the problem, and there is some type of political discussion to obfuscate the direct course of the matter.  Some shadows are blamed and nothing is done at all.  The market was open the next day – selling food!

Now, if that’s just to show how utterly incapable Hawaii is to handle rodents in an eatery, what chance do they have at solving other problems?


To be fair, it’s not like there is any shred of  history or scientific proof that links rats and disease.

Also, I am quite happy how I turned this random post into a theme and linked it all back.

Posted in: Hawaii